Last Update until whenever I fucking feel like it.

Can you guess who's camel toe this is???



Well since I dont know how to do the whole "after the jump" thing I guess I'll just have to give you the answer here... ITs Jessica "the lips" Simpson... Get it... Lips.. HAHAHAHAHAHA.




What in the holy that is all holy fuck is Jamie Pressley doing here? I have no idea but if doing a cock tuck turns her on and would get me in her private place, then you should look at me right now...Buffalo Bill aint got shit on me!

Whitney Houston has just signed a deal...

Whitney Houston is set to star in the upcoming D.A.R.E movie. At first when she read the title of the project she refused, even though she thinks "Crack is Whack". Producers for the movie, backed by HighTimes, told her that D.A.R.E in this case means Drugs Are Really Excellent, to which Whitney agreed. On both issues. That drugs are in fact excellent and that she would do the project. Shooting has begun, and an Uncle Tucker fan got this picture of Whitney before and after makeup.



Is there a category in the Oscars for Best Make-Up, cause the person that pulled this transformation off is a genius. She really does look like a crack addict, its a good thing that no one has ever been able to produce the receits of her drug buys.


Update: I just found out that artist responsible for Whitney's awesome make over is Bobby Brown... hmm never heard of him.

You want beauty ...

Well then Uncle Tucker will give you beauty...

Anna Benson Nude ...

If you dont know who Anna Benson is then you never heard of Major League Baseball. Personally I hate watching that shit. Its up there with hanging with your grandparents and working 9-5 on the FUCKING IM ABOUT TO KILL MYSELF TO ESCAPE THIS BOREDOM scale. Seriously even with pounding beers and trying to get some stadium sex I still cant make it through a whole game. Anyway Anna Benson was a stripper before she married pitcher Chris Benson and before the fake titties. Basically she was a pole swinging coke whore. Not that there is anything wrong with that but that's besides the point. But if you're a straight dude, balls intact, you'll notice she's fucking hot. Now lets play a game, can you guess which one is from 1993?




Ah I love it when nudie pics get discovered. Anna don't bother having your attorney contact me, Im not taking it down. Not to mention, you were a stripper for how long????

Picking up steam...

I am popular again. Im not sure if its the Sex Tape of a Sports Illustrated/Super Model that's doing it or the fact that im fucking awesome and people sometimes just forget. Im pretty sure its the latter. Since you have all taken an interest once again, I feel as though I should be giving you all a good reason for loving me. So after checking out the web for shit to steal from other people this is all I have come up with... I guess Ill just give you a rundown of whets going on in the world. Well atleast what I think is important anyway.


Wanna hear about Darth Dingleberry. Click Picture for story.

This little fucker went to school as Darth Douchebag, and instead of a glock, he went with a bb gun. Fucking dark side man...Really slipping these days.


My best buddy, Ed just opened up a Male Hair Salon(he's gay..just kidding, he's bi), he asked his girls that cut the hair to show him their best work. This what they came up with.. I think next time he'll use a test subject rather than himself


Wanna see how you would go about becoming Siamese twins with one of your friends? It really easy, alls you need is a your buddy, a pipe and a 40 mph collision. OUCH

If you have never gone to gorilla mask to check out Ryan's enormous penis, I mean Boobie Collection, you should. You know what they say about a guy with lots of porn...um he's ah got hairy palms... i got nothing. But he has the porn. LOTS OF PORN

Wanna see the chick who is suing Chris Rock, yeah men neither UNTIL I found out she was NEKKID...


Cindy Juggs Margolis is doing playboy and Denise Juggs Richards is a crazy whore. Read about them both at one of favorites, WWTDD.com


Ok fuckers that should keep you busy for a little while. You just got the total package, humor, news, celebrity gossip and jerky jerk material. Im the best I know.

Carolyn Murphy has a sex tape now I have it TOO.

Carolyn Murphy is the face of Estee Lauder, a top super model and SI(Sports Illustrated) swim suit cover girl. Man when I was kid I remember when the swim suit edition came, I use to run up to my bathroom, put the shower on as cover, and furiously rough up the subject. Of course I was only 12 or 13 at the time. Im pretty sure when I climaxed only a little clear liquid came out...Umm Uh, anyway back to Carolyn Murphy. She made a sex tape here it is. There, now I have to ah um take a shower.

CLICK PICTURE TO VIEW - VERY NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR
YOUR CHAPPED PENIS


If I was her, im not sure what I would be more embarrassed about, the actual sex tape coming out, or the way I danced like a crazed nude monkey in the beginning... Its so bad I feel embarrassed for her.


UPDATE

Websites across the land have been getting threats from Carolyn's lawyer, ironically the same lawyer as Colin Farrel, to pull the tape or get fined. I say fine, fine me. I was one of the first to post the tape and I will be the last to pull it down.

Meet Alien Cruise...HAHAHAHHAA

Since im in my Anti-TomKat phase i figured I would treat you all to this new blog... about TomKay, from the view of the baby...its pretty funny..cause I made it.

Link here BabyTomKat.blogspot.com

Tom Cruise M.D ...

(photo taken from GQ shoot, Cruise insisted they use it)

Tom Cruise basically thinks that he is an M.D. I couldn't agree more, except in this case M.D. stands for Mentally Disturbed. Tom recently went on the record, in the new issue of GQ magazine, saying that he can personally take a drug addict off of heroin in only three days time. Well yeah of course, if I came down off a heroin bender and saw Tom Cruise (Pictured Above) I would get the fuck out of there as soon as possible too. The hits just keep coming with Tom. Oh yeah he also went on to say that he can heal broken bones like Mr Miagi. I honestly don't know where he went wrong. I guess that accident involving him and Goose, fucked him up more than we originally thought. Anywho, here is the direct quote from the article:

"I think it's appalling that people have to live a life of drug addiction when I have personally helped people get off drugs." In the interview Cruise claims he can "get someone off heroin in three days through Scientology's detox programs.....Cruise went onto claim that arm casts were unnecessary, and that broken bones could be healed in just 5 days through Mr. Miagi's obscure hand rubbing followed by a well placed band aid."

Tom I think its time you get yourself a tape recorder, so that when you say stuff like this, you can go back and listen to it, and hear what a douche nozzle you sound like.



Ever wonder what a Vagenis is??? Well now you dont have too Check it out

Rapper "Proof" from Eminems D12 11 shot dead...

DeShaun Holton aka "Proof"

was shot in the head and killed outside the Detroit night club, Triple C. The rapper was only 30 years old. Police were overheard saying that they haven't found any leads because lack of Proof, hmmm. However they do have a witness that was over heard talking about an argument over what Proof Cristal was, what? . One thing police said they are certain of is that Dashaun wasn't Bullet Proof.. obviously?


There may be grammatical errors in this post, dont lose your head, I didnt Proof read it.

And Im out.

Nissan's new Ad campaign is doing the job..

News in the auto world is that Nissan has been CRUSHING the competition with the new z350 Ad campaigns. Sales have almost doubled since the company released the much anticipated "Wanna Fuck a hot Blonde? Buy a Nissan"... I swear thats the actual campaing slogan, must be in Europe some where. Anyway check it out...HERE

I see why sales have doubled..
(preview)





I dont understand why they say Sex Sells.

Starting a new Bloggy Blog..

Ill be starting a new blog with in the week. Details are sketchy and so am I. Ill let you fuckers know more when I do. All I know is the blog will be awesome cause I am awesome. Everything I touch or do is awesome.

Speaking of awesome, I want to tell you all real quick about this bitch I fucked the other night. She was your typical slut, 18, hot, coke head.. you know the deal. Anyway I was sitting in the bar minding my own business and I notice this hot white chick with some nerdy black guy. Black dicks and white chicks make me sick. They say once you go black, you dont go back, actually my motto is once you go black, we dont want you back. Anyway, me being the outspoken asshole that I am waited till they got a little closer and as they walked by I said "Nigger Lover" under breath. Well let me tell you, if you want to piss off both parties of an bi racial couple, that gem will probably work every time. So the dudes tries to get all hard and in my face and says what the fuck did you say.. To which I replied "I said peanut butter". ... woops got to go, ill post the rest later....

cya fuckers.