Lindsey Lohan's Boobie.

To celebrate and give back to the 500000 people that have come here day in and day out I give you what you have been waiting 3 years for - Lindsey Lohands boob. Now I know that she looks like a freckled skeleton these days but celeb boob is celeb boob and I just want to celebrate so with out further aboob I give you ...



TADA!!! Today is going to be a good day.. Now im off to celebrate Fat Tuesday.

Hey Tucker what the fuck?

That's the common email I have been getting from my loyal fans. Its actually sad and I feel pity for the poor schmuck that come here everyday looking for updates and shit. It seems that I have lost my creative juices, as one person has so eloquently put it. I know half of you cant even pronounce the word eloquently and those that can sound their way through most defiantly doesn't know what it means. Anyway yea so what, this shit is a lot harder to do than most of you that come here and talk shit about how bad I suck think it is. Day in and day out searching the web for shit to steal or plagiarize. I mean its tough stuff. So with that said I am back bitches. Im going out like Kurt Cobain, with a bang. Updates all through the day today, so stay tuned fuckers. Im going to blow your cocksack off.

Happy Valentines Day..

Valentines is about getting the pussy.

This chick is hot

Lucky Guy.



Im just kidding, I would kill myself if I was a midget. They're creepy. The sad thing is you see 2 love birds playing a little minature golf, I see 2 aliens getting ready to spawn a creppy little alian midget. Thats why you are fucked up and come here. So Tucker can help you help yoursleves. In my opinion, the only one that really counts, midgets, drawfs and mexicans(almost midgets) shouldnt be allowed to procreate. In 30-70 years they would no longer exist, problem solved.

Tonight, go find yourself a midget and tell him the new plan.

Penis Enlargers verse Vagina Tightners

Actually we cant have this debate CAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PILL THAT TIGHTENS A WOMAN'S VAGINA. Why not is the question I have. I am sick and tired of getting 50 emails a day asking me, scratch that telling me that my dick is too small. Guess what mother fuckers, it aint. I have an above average penis size thank you very much. But lets take a look at this for a moment. Girls have it easier than guys in the southern private parts department. Far too many times I hear "It was so small I could barely feel it", well bitch do you think that's maybe cause you can fit a bowling pin in your vag? King Kong wouldn't satisfy you. But can you tell a girl that her shit is loose.

No.

Why not? Men lets stand up for our man that stands up for us. Once and for all. Will it sting, will it get us slapped, yeah probably but Im tired of woman skating free on this one. Sure it may have been a kid or 2 that stretched that hole. But what about the chicks with no kids - Yup, she's a cock whore. Now you be asking yourself "How will I know if she has kids or not" Well dummy you can ask but if you dont want to ask, just look for the stretch marks. Plain and simple. There is no other way or answer for it. So the next time you hear that you have a small cock guys don't take that shit. You stand up and say well if your shit didn't whistle on a windy day maybe just maybe you would feel something. Shit.

I typed this out as fast as you read it so blow me if isnt well thoug out. I just read an article about penis size but I have never read an article that talks about stretched vag. Please guys let it out in the comments.


Here is the ARTICLE I was talking about HERE

Just kidding its Here

Im thinking about killing this at 500,000 hits.

This blog has been in the dumps probably before I even went to Cali. Im dealing with shit -- never mind this blog was never about me so im not going to start that now.

Im starting a new blog about my life.

I figured between the 4 sites I run I get about 5-7 thousand hits a day. Not alot but but it could be a good start for a new blogger.

If you want the sites there yours. Leave a comment, tell me why you want them and if I agree then there yours.

Its been a pretty good run, I would have never thought 500,000 people would come here in under a year.

Peace out fuckers

Jim.

Title Monthly Hits
Amateur Hour 7224
exgirlfriends 6852
Tucker Maxx 8887


(in case you dont believe the hit count - from my counter)

Big, Big, BIG FUCKING news...

Me and Myspace Emma are going out Friday night. I guess she was turned on by a guy finally calling her out on her shit and not kissing her sweet ass. I have to tell you guys Im fucking stoked. This chick is fucking hot as nails. Who was I kidding, I never even farted near a girl as hot as this chick. Man I cant wait to get my cock between those luscious titties. Fuck man Im getting hard just typing this shit. I haven't stopped staring at her picture all day. I just hope this isn't some trick to get me alone so her pig I mean big brother can kick my ass. In that case Ill be pissed. I would take a beating if it meant getting to play with her squirrel. Ill steal her beaver covers, take a pic and post on here Sat.

I hope you all learned a valuable lesson in picking up chicks. The lesson being, girls like honesty. If that means calling them a lying bitch with fake tits and no brains then so be it. Im going to punish her crotch. Bitch is going to have to learn to walk again after I get through with her.

I hope she doesn't read this, I don't want her not wearing panties cause I said I was going to take a picture of them.

Oh yeah on a separate note, I want to take a minute and Thank Dredogg, I blamed everything on you needledick. This chicks brother, wants your IP address, which I have, it will cost you 250 bucks to silence me. Stop being a pussy by the way, if you want to talk shit to my future wife then you better be willing to back it up. Pussy.

Myspace - Third and Final battle.

To my complete delight I logged on myspace this morning and there it was, her final comeback. Wanna read it? Ok here it here it goes...

Im feeling great today. It still sounds like your not getting laid and you have all the anger built up inside.
Its ok sweetheart one day some girl will feel sorry for you and take pitty on your little peanut and you can release some of your aggression that you feel you must take out on me.
You enjoy yourself in N-TOWN and play with your little computer harassing women you will never be able to date.

Good luck with everything.

Poor girl, clearly she is outbrained and obviously she had to think real long and hard(just like my dick) about this. I whipped this back in her stupid face...

Ahaha, my little peanut, again you speak of things you couldn't possibly know about me. Thus rendering your come backs obsolete. (If you need me tell you what that means I will) Just so you have your facts right I have been getting laid and actually since you brought it up, my dick is over 8 inches with impressive girth as well. Normally I don't brag about it, I let him do the talking but since your feeling insecure now about your body and feel the need to insult mine, you have left me no choice.

This comes down to you be all fired up cause youre use to having guys fall at your feet. The simple fact is that I hang and fuck chicks way hotter, alot nicer and not half as stuck up as you. You just aren't all that, you been lied to all this time by dudes who are the EXACT opposite of me. Dudes that have a tiny "peanut" and who don't get "laid" and tell you how beautiful you are, their lying. Change your blurb about yourself. It sucks. I was trying to help you out but I see now that your all chest and no brains - typical. Sweeten up, I could see if you were a super model or something. You aren't though, your a decent looking chick in a pool with fake tits, (real or not it don't matter - there big and useless) trying real hard to be sexy.

I would have zero problems picking you up at a bar, btw, except I dont go to those parts of Bucks County (Bensalem)...I like to stick with the Upper Class people. Clearly after talking with you I made the right choice.

After tallying the totals I believe the score is Tucker 3 Emma 0. I hoped you all enjoy this segmant of MySpace live blogging.

Next episode Tucker picks up Myspace bitch to even the level.

Updated - Myspace Girl owned by Tucker.

SO I posted a little ditty yest. about me and some retard from myspace. Well Today I sent her this :

Subject: feeling better today?
Have you calmed down, I was worried cause I never heard back from you yest. I thought for sure that a smart "teacher" such as yourself would be better equipped to defend herself.

I guess the only the equipment you count on is your umm, permanent floatation devices for when youre swimming.

Remember those he can do, those who cant - TEACH!!

Ill post her reply after work... its priceless.

Tucker tries Myspace, fucks hot bitches up.

So the other day I created a myspace account. I only did it so I could see the profiles of highschool bitches. In order to look at the panty pics you need an account of your own. So I did it. I signed up, filled out the profile and added some pictures. For the last 2 days I have been "browsing" profiles of bitches in my area. I must say there are some good opportunities out there. First I searched for 16-17 year olds, ummm to see if my cousin was on here, then I kicked it up to 20-27. I went through the pages, and sent out a few messages. Then I came to this gem, some bitch who thinks she's the shit.

About me:
Im just a normal person like everyone else. I put my socks on one at a time like everyone else. And I like it that way. I can do things myself. People want to treat me like im a queen.. I want someone to say hey lets go to a hockey game and get a couple hot dogs and some beer. Or, I'll kick your ass in some basketball loser buys beer and wings at Hooters. I dont want to hear I will rub your feet and run my fingers through your hair and I want to watch you sleep. "Freaky" Do that when im old when those body parts start to hurt and the meds stop working.
Who I'd like to meet:
I am looking to meet and talk to people for a friendship. MAYBE more. I wont answer emails from people who send me messages like SUP U HOTT. I am a teacher and if you want my attention then write to me like you made it past 12th grade.

Bitch puts up a phony pic and then writes some bullshit about how she is a normal girl bla bla fucking bla... So I sent her a private message that went something like this...

Youre a tool, don't you think that your "blurb" about yourself is a little too much. Sounds like you have a super tough life...ahah...cry me river. come on girl lighten up and stop taking yourself so seriously. Sure your ok looking but all the looks in the world only go so far when it comes to relationships. You show me a hot girl who thinks she's all that and Ill show you 5 guys tired of her shit. People are put off eventually by attitude... anyway hello.

TO which she replied....

Im not full of myself. It sounds like you are a little bitter because beautiful women wont date you.

Who me?? Bitter? Nooooooo, I could have said Im sorry but me being me sent this:

HAHA, im guessing your speaking for yourself, considering you dont know any of my exgirlfriends, and by doing so your calling yourself beautiful to a stranger...hmmm not full of yourself - YEAH RIGHT.
Not too bright either cause thats not really what I was saying. I was simply stating that you sound very defensive. To which you proved my point with your reply.

Have a I dated many beautiful woman, no but ive fucked alot, many of which were alot more attractive than you, and didnt even have to try half as hard as you do. Your lips are too small, nose is too big and your tits dont fit your body. Big tits are so 90's btw.

Have a nice day

I just sent that, and I know that she read it cause its says "read". Lets see if this bitch can hang with Tucker... my guess is she screaming at her computer in baby babble trying to figure out how to recover from the pounding she just took.

More myspace stories to follow.

Email from my loyal fan, DreDogg

I got an email from DreDogg basically saying how awesome I am and asking me since I get so many girls if I could hook him up. I guess its been a while for him, well 3 years according to his email, and he's tired of jerking off to interent porn. I feel for the guy so I said sure. But I would need a picture and some info to work with. This is where its get really funny but really sad at the same time. Instead of going into it Ill just post his picture for you all and give you his stats:

Here's his picture: Cool 80's hair do.


And here is "stats" from the email.
31
5'9
130 pounds
Lives at home with mommy and daddy
Unemployed - Works for welfare
7th grade grad
Considers his right hand the best hook up ever.
Dick looks like a baby's pinky.(his words not mine)

Now Ive never been one to turn away from a challenge, but in this case, I feel that the only solution is suicide. Im sorry Dredogg but you cant get blood from a stone. You have a face that not even a mother could love.