Snoop is not a fag like me....

This dude got his ass beat for jumping onstage and trying to dance with Snoop at his last concert, Big mistake.

Hi, My name is Tucker Maxx, I fuck fat chicks and LOVE IT.

That is right, ill say it loud and proud - I fuck fat chicks and LOVE IT.

Tonight im gonna find a fatty, grease her down and fuck her rolls, folds and holes. OINK OINK is my new motto. MMM MMM MMM. I'm gonna pour gravy all over her nasty fucking axe wound and sop that shit up with a biscuit. Eat her snatch till she blows cream sauce all over my face - I gonna fucking wear her muff like a beard until she BLOWS cum or cheese on my chest. I gonna finger her fat asshole and then run the tip over my top lip - JUST SO I CAN smell what that fat pig ate the night before. Got damn it Im hard as fucking rock right now. Just thinking of it... pumping away, arms getting tired from holding her fat ass chicks open so I can get my tiny cock way up in the mound of lard... Im gonna lick the sweat between the fatty folds under her quadruple chin... Then glaze her titties with my warm love juice...The saying,"GO BIG OR DONT GO AT ALL" should be "Go PIG or dont go at all". IM GOING HUGE tonight. If she at least 300+, Im walking. Im going to smear bacon grease on my face instead of aftershave, to attract the hungry piggies..

Damn all this talk.. Im gonna go rub one out so I can pigfuck extra long tonight. -"Dont go out with one in the chamber".. words of wisdom fella's..words of wisdom.


OINK MOTHER FUCKING OINK.

cya Fuckers.

Why dont you fuckers ever comment....

I was just going through my stats, cause thats what I do and I see that on an average day about 60 "returning" visitors come here. I dont understand why you people dont leave comments. Tell me what you like, what you dont, what you are looking for or what you want more or less of. Post anonymously...or sign the fuck in you lazy fuckers. At any given time there are atleast 3-4 people viewing. I know that I am awesome. I know that I am creative, good looking, funny, original and a hack. So tell me. Oh and ladies I am availible to fuck so if you need me to teach you a thing or 2 let me know.

This chick has a dick

I am totally grossed out by this for 2 reasons. THe first is obvious. Her clit looks like it was drug hundreds of yards by a car only to be dropped off and out through a meat grinder. Then packed back between her legs. The second thing that grosses me out is the fact that this chick cant be older then 18. What a whore.

I want to work for this company...

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500
employees and has the following statistics:


> 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
> 7 have been arrested for fraud
> 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
> 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
> 3 have done time for assault
> 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
> 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
> 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
> 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
> 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

> Can you guess which organization this is?


> Give up yet?


> It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
> The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year.

Everyone of these statements is true.

Saved by the "Cleavage". "Ebay" style....

Since starring in the worst movie in the history, which is obviously SHowgirls, Elizabeth Berkeley has been trying to figure out how to get back in the good graces of Hollywood. Well I think that she has finally found that answer. You are probably saying "What Tucker? What is she doing". Well I will tell you. She has put herself up for advertising. What? How? Why? The answer can be summed up in one simple word...... E B A Y Auctions . She is putting her cleavage up for advertising, to the highest bidder. I want to win this so that I can put an ad for "Showgirls" on her tits.

What a fucking loser. She is auctioning off her chest to the highest bidder. I for one wouldn't pay that loser one cent, unless I could fuck her and drop my load in her throat while she fingered my asshole. In that case I would pay atleast 20 bucks.

Check out her auction. Bid high my friends. I am sure we can get this auction up to atleast 50,000,000.00.

Now excuse me, I need to *log* into eBay to check to see if im still the high bidder.

Chart for TuckerMaxx(sucks).Blogspot.com

42 Midgets verse 1 African Lion... lion +1 and midgets (-28)

Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight

An African Lion much like this
is responsible for the death of 28 Cambodian Midgets
Spectators cheered as entire Cambodian Midget Fighting League squared off against African Lion
Tickets had been sold-out three weeks before the much anticipated fight, which took place in the city of Kâmpóng Chhnãng.

The fight was slated when an angry fan contested Yang Sihamoni, President of the CMFL, claiming that one lion could defeat his entire league of 42 fighters.

Sihamoni takes great pride in the league he helped create, as was conveyed in his recent advertising campaign for the CMFL that stated his midgets will "... take on anything; man, beast, or machine."

This campaign is believed to be what sparked the undisclosed fan to challenge the entire league to fight a lion; a challenge that Sihamoni readily accepted.

An African Lion (Panthera Leo) was shipped to centrally located Kâmpóng Chhnãng especially for the event, which took place last Saturday, April 30, 2005 in the city’s coliseum.

The Cambodian Government allowed the fight to take place, under the condition that they receive a 50% commission on each ticket sold, and that no cameras would be allowed in the arena.

The fight was called in only 12 minutes, after which 28 fighters were declared dead, while the other 14 suffered severe injuries including broken bones and lost limbs, rendering them unable to fight back.

Sihamoni was quoted before the fight stating that he felt since his fighters out-numbered the lion 42 to 1, that they “… could out-wit and out-muscle [it].”

Unfortunately, he was wrong.

http://www.newturfers.com/mwf/attach/38/355838/BBCNEWSWorldLionMutilates42MidgetsinCambodianRing-Fight.htm

Being a smartass is fun. In the commnets add some... If you are as Bright as me.

Top 5 smart ass answers of the year

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket; instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat .... she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign came up that read, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and his truck became stuck under the bridge. Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car showed up. The cop got out of his car and walked up to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."


#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004
A college teacher reminded her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class was reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was finally restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Thirsty Thursday's lucky links.

I cannot believe that I didnt make this list of blog celebs
Neither did Tucker Max. So I guess I dont feel that badly.

This piece of ass wants to fuck.... -(nsfw)

I wanted to take this time to express apologies for the breast cancer thing a few days ago. IT WAS A JOKE. If you dont get that well I hope your balls get cancer and die.

This is an awesome Nude Celebrity Site

As always GorillaMask has some good shit.

This is the grossest thing I have EVER EVER EVER seen.

Im going to puke right after I type this.

Link Here

Sfw. No tits or ass just sick fun.

What Jennifer Willbanks should get as punishment.

As you all know, Jennifer Willbanks, the ugly version of "Runaway Bride" has been indicted. I for one am happy about this. I really think that her punishment should be getting gang raped by Mexicans. That is what she said happened to her when she called authorities April 30th. Sonofbitch. Then she should be fined 60,000 dollars, the amount it costs to look for her stupid ass. Then, last but not least her husband should get to fuck her best friend and sister at the same time.

Speaking of her husband can you believe that fucker still wants to marry her. What a poor schmuck. Dude get with the program. DUMP THAT BITCH, get a hooker and some drugs and rock the night away.

"Hey look everyone, I am a dumb bitch"

Ok, this is a little bit too much. I hate the internet.

Between fucking ebay's mystery auctions and savetoby.com the internet is getting layed to waste. I swear to god I hate everyone. I just dont get it. People are throwing away money left and right. Then you have this poor schmuck,
poor schmuck who cant even keep his kid cause he is broke. Its a sad sad time we live in.

I am really curious to see though if this guy can raise more money to keep his kid, then savetoby did to save a rabbit.

Thats the fucked up part. I know the answer. The rabbit will live and Charlie will get adopted. Ill bet my life on it.

Check it out. http://keepingcharlie.blogspot.com

I love Adriana Lima showing her clit.

that is all

A little info on Chronic the HedgeWhore...

He is an attention whore. that is all.

The only numbers I usually care about is the bitches phone numbers..

BUT, it seems that stats for site are becoming an issue for some people. I have nothing to hide. Some days 1000 people come here, some days only 200 or so. Its the RETURNING people that I care about. Seriously, if that number continues to grow week by week I am happy. And guess what, it has. So here are the number for this past week..


Day Date Page Loads/ Unique / First Time / Returning Visitors
Friday 20th May 2005 89 79 64 25 - as of 11:00 am eastern.
Thursday 19th May 2005 273 237 192 45
Wednesday 18th May 2005 328 268 232 86
Tuesday 17th May 2005 601 494 402 92
Monday 16th May 2005 317 255 192 63

Average 322 267 216 50
Total 1,608 1,333 1,082 251

Hey Cronic you need me to explain this to you, shoot me an email.

You know i just want to point out that I spend about 20 minutes thinking of ideas to post here, for example that Kylie breast thing..took me 5 minutes to do. Second I havent even been on here since tuesday night.


Try this dipshit

this link will be up for the next 2 hours. after that say la vee. As you can see in ONE DAY, may 2nd I had more hit that you have had in a month. anything else?

Kylie Minogue had breast cancer. The befores and afters...ONLY HERE.

Reuters Article about the cancer

And now only I, tucker maxx have the actual before and AFTER pics of her surgery.





and the After, not too bad if you ask me...




Now keep in mind she just had the surgery. So give the scars time to heal. Overall I would say she only dropped from a 4 star to 2.75 star.


Ps. This post also doubles as a before and after hair cut.

And to start a new format, here are the monday wacky's--- LOL omfg 1 Ru13

1. This will defiantly be a hot seller on christmas or Valentine's Day. Bukaka in a bottle.
2. The bionic man, kind of, sort of, ok not really.. but he saved 5 people. Life Saver

3. This site is pretty cool, talks all about famous deaths, ever shows some gory pics of dead celebs. Find a death.com

4. Dave "Im not Crazy" Chappell is well, not well, but not crazy. Msn.com

5. If you can tell me who this is, I will send you 5 dollars. Guess Who, (nsfw)

6. Meat Lovers Monday Raven Riley -(nsfw)

I get this ALOT in emails, and now that its a comment I am going to address it.

For a guy that hates Tuckermax so much, you sure act a lot like him...

Exept that Tuckermax tells stories about the chicks he's fucked - not which celebrities he thinks are hotter, like an article in Cosmo.

I could write stories about all the "chicks" I fucked too. I could write about how the first time I got laid, it was a threesome. OR the fact that at one point I fucked 3 girls in 48 hours, all 5 stars. People, like my friends wouldnt say I am embellishing at all either. Or maybe how I have 5 or six FULL video tapes of me fucking the shit out of the girlfriend at the time. Or by the time I was 18 I had already had 12 girls, 5 of which were virgins, 3 of which specifically came to me asking if I would be there first. Or maybe that at any given time in my early 20's I could anywhere and pick up a girl and fuck her with a few hours of meeting her. It happened time and time again, at bars, concerts, clubs, strip clubs, flyers games ect. ect.

I chose not to,why?, Who hasn't gotten laid.. Why do you need to hear my stories. But I can promise you one thing, MY stories wouldn't have to be exaggerated.

Oh and one more thing, I don't hate Tucker Max, in fact I admire his writing abilities, I admire that he went to school to be a lawyer, excelled at it, but upon realizing that wasn't for him, he quit. Instead of just dealing with it, he took a chance at doing something he liked instead of something he had to do. I mock him cause I also think a lot of what he says is bullshit, and he thinks he is a celebrity, which he is not. I would be willing to bet that never becomes one either. I'll even give you 2-1 odds on it.

Just a little bit of stats for this blog, which i spend about 20 minutes a day on IF THAT.

Last week's stats: first number is page loads, second is unique and the thrid is returning visitor. Not too shabby, not great but hey this site is pure shit right?

Average day = 587 hits , 512 unique, 280 returning
Total Week = 4,019 hits, 3,366 unique , 2007 returing.

The week before last there were 3 days that the site hit over 1000 uniques a day. But hey whos counting.

Hey Ashton; I think you been PUNK'D, AND people are actually going to see this.

Being in a decent B flick = $3,000,000
Doing MTV series = $100,000 an episode
Banging Demi Moore = Dream come true
Her telling her palls that you are
"Quick Draw McGraw", well that is
PRICELESS

Next Celebrity Fight Card : Lindsey Lohan vs Lara Flynn Boyle

Here is the fight card:




VS.




I have a feeling that this is going to be a Frazier, Ali kind of fight.


Oh btw Lindsey Lohan is really Lara Flynn Boyle's younger sister. If you cant tell the resemblance all the way down to the collar bones and shrinking titties well then you my friend are either A. An idiot (my guess) or B. Deaf.

Update in like 10 minutes....

Im looking for something to plagiarise as we speak.... hey an updates an update.

I mean seriously every site out there is the same EXACT layout. I dont know who started it cause if I did I would say good job, your a douche. But the same shit on 50 different sites gets mundane day in and day out. Its the same shit over and over. Over and over and over and over and ..you get the fucking point. They are all cut fromt he same BORING mold. Im talking about the sites I go to everyday, Fark.com, Gorillamask.net and Fazed.org. Mind you these are three of my favorite sites BUT THEY ARE ALL THE FUCKING SAME. Just different background colors. Whatever. Who I am to bitch about how a webmaster wants to run his shit right? Wrong, motherfucker Im Tucker Maxx, I can tell anyone I fucking want, what ever the fuck I want to. Bitch.

Anyway I too will be back soon with some same old shit.

Christina versus Britney and the winner is.....

Christina A and Britney Spears both started out in the Mickey Mouse club, both were talented "blondes" and both grew up to be smoking hot SUPER stars. But as the saying goes "there can only be one" and through the years since they EXPLODED onto our screens and into FACES one has fallen in the gutter, picked up and dropped off at the dump and the other well, is still smoking hot. Instead of writing about this, im going to go by the other old saying,"A picture speaks a thousand words". Which is perfect for me cause I hate to "witre", So heeeeeeeeeere we go.

Round One
Britney looking fresh faced and wholesome = "virgin"..


Christina also looking young, hot and sexy but not a "virgin"


And the winner is : Britney Speeeeeaaaarssssa. why? The Virgin Factor.

Round Two
Britney has probably been in the business for a year and looks better then ever:


Christina just before her "enhancements"and starting to show her slutty side.


And the winner is : Britney Spears. why? This is easy, 18 yro Britney & Cheerleading

Round Three
Britney realizes Christina is slutting up the place, so she changes her image


Christina sees Britney is turning it up, so she raises the ante: Crazy hair & BOOB JOB


This round is a Draw, they both look fucking great. still 2-0 Brit Brit.

Round 4
Sadly this picture marks the climax of Mrs Spears Federline, telling
us that its her perogitive to be a dumpster rat if she wants to.


Christina has stayed the course of being a slut and showing her tits


And the winner is : Christina, why because she is a slut and knows it. She is not hiding behind airbrushing and lighting. Britney has already plunged at this point

Round 5 - The last round and present condition.
Words cannot describe the downfall Britney took in just 1 short year


Christina however has stayed the course, even changed her hair and still looks damn good. She may be rough and loves the choco cocko but hey, who dont?


And in an unbelievable upset the winner by Ko in the 5th and final round is Ms.Christina Aguilera. Wow, im shocked. Well lets hope that rematch has a better finish.

Even though Brit Brit had Christina on the score cards, Christina hit Brit with a viscous "looks" blow in the 5th and Brit just couldn't get back on her feet.
What a shame, she could have been one of the greats.

Things that make you wanna jerk it till the flesh falls off.

Hand Jobs


Shaved Pussies


Hot Camel Toes


Purfect Asses

David Letterman's new "Edgy" 10 top may be a little too edgy.

In an attempt to be "edgy" and appeal to the 18-35 male demographic David Letterman may have gone too far. On Thursday night his 10 ten was a little on the redneck side. Im guessing that he is trying to appeal to every state below PA because their the only "people" who give a shit about nascar. So without further ado, I give you Dave's hillbilly top 10, which is all about Nascar.

david letterman:

----- "Ten Reasons there are no blacks in Nascar -----

10)HAVE TO SIT UPRIGHT WHILE DRIVING.
9) PISTOL WON'T STAY UNDER FRONT SEAT.
8) ENGINES DROWN OUT THE RAP MUSIC.
7) PIT CREW CAN'T WORK ON CAR WHILE HOLDING
UP PANTS AT THE SAME TIME.
6) CANT FIT 18'' RIMS ON THE FRONT TIRES
5) YOU NEED A VALID LICENSE
4) NO PASSENGER SEAT FOR THE HO OR HOLDER
FOR THE 40oz.
3) THERE ARE NO SPONSORS FOR A CADILLAC.
2) CAN'T WEAR HELMET SIDEWAYS.

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY THERE ARE NO BLACKS IN NASCAR:

1 ) THE LAST BLACK DRIVER WAS LYNCHED AFTER HIS FIRST WIN.

da da da BUM. That's it ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. Tonight's top 10."

That top 10 was a little on the um ah ohh.. Redneck side if you ask me.

I almost forgot... Happy Dirty Mexican day to all the lawn mowers and bus boys...

May you all get a penny raise and your citizenship (kidding on this one) soon.

This is for you:


Keyra
Augustina NEW LINK*****SPY FREE


Sorry about that last link, I for one fucking hate spyware and its makers. I wish they would get arrested for invasion of privacy, tresspassing and basically being fucking douchebags.

Paris Hilton is Pregnant?

So inside sources from the "E" are saying that eternal Prom Queen, Paris Hilton, has a bun-in-the-oven. Although Paris' people have not confirmed this, Paris herself was heard saying on the topic of babies, "Thats Hot".

I for one hope she is, this way she will get fat, get stretch marks all over her boobies and ass, then never show her gross new self again.
Her 15 minutes were up a half hour ago. So here is the proof, from a recent "House of Wax" premier.

Rosie O'Donnell is a better blogger than you AND is way hottt.

This is from her recent movie where she plays herself, a retard, in a new movie. She is hot. And I want to fuck her... in the ass.

This little hottie owes me a new keyboard and a box of tissues..

So cute.. I'd fuck this chick so deep and hard, my cock would come out of her mouth, making her a Tucker Dick Pop.

Mariah Carey singing new hit song, "FreeBird"

I'll never understand it but I'll also never complain.... here you go..

Look Mom No Panties