Tucker's Ten Commandments for the ladies.

This is for the girls that actually come here. I made you a list, FOLLOW IT.
Going from important, well everything I say is important, to more important:

10: Leave my balls alone! I get NO sexual enjoyment from having my balls fondled. The nerves are in my dick, you stupid cumdumpster!

9: If I ask you a question like what you want, don't reverse it on me. Tell me what the fuck you want. Trust me, your ass can be replaced in about a half hour if I really feel like fucking. Remember how I got you naked in my apartment? Guess what, you ain't the only bitch that will succumb to that shit.

8: You are NOT doing me a favor. I am NOT doing you a favor. We are doing this because we BOTH want to. Be an adult about it. Now get addressed.

7: If there's something new you want to try, MENTION IT! Im not a mind reader. Sure I am alot smarter than you but none the less -SPEAK UP

6: It's ok to act slutty once we've already fucked. Don't get shy, puritanical, or prudish once you've already given up the goods. That act doesn't work and it doesn't make you look innocent. It makes you look like a cunt that's trying to get over.

5: After we fuck, and I want to watch tv, I'm going to turn on the tv. It doen't mean that I like you any less, or that sex was any less meaningful. It means that now that I've busted a nut, I can think of other stuff I'd like to do. Again get over it.

4: After we fuck, don't ask me for shit! I mean, don't ask me to buy you jewelry or bring you some little trinket on my way over to see you the next time. Giving up ass is not a license for you to rifle through my wallet. You gave up the pussy for free. What makes you think that I'm going to start paying for it AFTER THE FACT? This is serious. Your not a vending pussy machine are you?

3: Stay away from my nutsack! I can't stress that enough. If you want to suck my dick, fine, but it's not a requirement, but do NOT touch my balls! Goddammit, if one more bitch decides that while sucking my cock it would be a good idea to go down and tongue my balls are starts cupping my balls while going down on me, she's going to get slapped in the head with a big limp dick! Look your "technique" is great, just cut out the ball groping.

2: I like condoms. They prevent disease and little fucking brats. Don't complain that since we've been fucking for awhile we don't need to use them. Fuck that. I don't know where your skanky ass goes when you leave my place, and I don't know who comes over to your place once I leave. I have no illusions that you're this pristine, virginal princess. I fucked you the day after we first met. If you gave up the ass to me that easily, more than likely it ain't the first or last time you did that. I'm not judging, I'm just saying that it's a good fucking idea for a man to protect himself EVERY FUCKING TIME! Again get over it.

1: Get off my balls, bitch! Touching my balls does NOT make me horny! I will go down on you. I love it. I will even lick and finger your asshole. No problem! But do NOT touch my balls! I can't stress that enough!


You're Welcome.

Who is this????? IP address is 64.7.4.182

Yeah Bitches here is a new link for Paris Hilton's Phone Numbers...

Everything Paris Hilton, sex tape, address book, phone numbers Paris's friends are YOUR friends too

Paris Hilton --- Here is a list of her celebrity phone numbers...

EDIT- Apparently "the man" shut down the phone number list... BUT here are the pictures off her camera :





Compliments of www.gorillamask.net Paris's Phone Book

Some one was kind enough to send me this: Hey Tucker check out this "butterface"

Butter Face



Hey shit head - Thats my sister.

Mardi Gras - Where dreams can come true

I was flipping through some pictures I had laying around and came across one that really stood out. It was a picture taken from Mardi Gras of a girl that I met, drugged and fell in love with all in the same night. She was beautiful, her hair was brown and flowed like Eminem, her eyes as blue as the waters of Sri Lanka(pre tsunami of course)and most importantly she was piss drunk. It is very important that a girl be drunk before I hit on her, I'll explain why later. So there I was standing in the bar talking shit to some punks about how cool I am and how the internet worships me, when all of the sudden she swam in. Thump.....Thump....Thump... my heart was beating as loud as her footsteps and my palms glazed with sweat, I was in awe. I had finally found the girl of my dreams. I walked up to her told her who I was, apparently she doesnt own a computer, so I shifted gears. (remember why I said its important that my prey are drunk) I reached way down in my pocket and grabbed two little things I call "forgotten love", ROOFIES. I Bought her a drink and dropped my friends off in her beer, then sweet talked her while they worked their magic. Now I was expecting her to be melting on my arm with in 20 minutes but since she was a tad on the big side it took a little longer, and an extra two "opportunity makers". Finally they took effect and she would soon be mine. I hauled her to my hotel and proceeded to make the most sweet sensual, loving, caring and one sided love I ever had. All the while she lay there looking so beautiful, so still, half dead and one fold of skin over the other. It was magical. In the morning I didnt bother to wake her, so I just left. I wish I left her a gift or something to remember me by, well besides the herpes. Good Times I tell ya. I love Mardi Gras.



Oh btw way here she is:

A special plug for a buddy of mine.... Also selling tshirts

Sloppy T-Shirts . Check it out.

T Shirts that Suck.... and our FIRST ONE...

T-Shirts that Suck... We are now taking orders for the hottest TSHIRTS on college campus' right now. Be the first at your school to have the "Tucker Maxx Suxx" shirt. For this week and next they will only be 10.00 bucks. They will come in all sizes. Deals like 2 for 18.00 or 3 for 25.00 are cool too. Here it is:







email me at www.jymbone2@yahoo.com

Happy Valentines Day .... bitches and ho's.

Here is the guide for the struggling male on Valentine's day.

Gift Ideas.

My number one gift this year based on quality and price is: The Grocery Bag.


This next one is expensive and I wasnt going to add it based on price alone but: Lipo.


Ok this last one is probably the best since she will be using it alot: A bottle Opener. (so she doesnt hurt her hand opening your beers)


So now that you have your gifts you're gonna want to add a poem.
Here is a good one:

Roses are straight,
Violets are twisted,
Bend over love,
You're about to get fisted.

Your ass is fat,
So I bought you lipo
but dont be mad
You really need yo.

Your mouth is ok and
Those titties are sick,
Get On your knees ,
And suck this dick.

Please put this bag
over your face,
Make me cum,
Then get out my place.

But before you go,
one more thing dear,
Unwrap that other gift,
And GET ME A FUCKING BEER.

There is one last thing you ought to know
ITS OVER BITCH CAUSE YOUR A HO.

Happy Mother Fucking Valentine's Day --- WHORE.

p.s. Im fucking your sister.

HOT OFF THE PRESS, THE FIRST PUBLIC PICTURE OF MARK JEN

Mark Jen, whom I have already awarded the "retard of the year" for getting shit canned from google for blogging has been kind enough to send me a picture of himself. Maybe I was wrong about this future darwinian and maybe he is a cool and funny guy. Probably not but with out further adou, here is the picture he was kind enough to send me.

Every Celebrity tit that ever graced playboys pages..

Celebrity Bush....

Seriously Hot Blonde... this chick is smoking hot.....(NSFW)

Chick in black dress
Stretching Nude
Doing a back bend
Dreaming about me
Spreading them for me

Tiffany Teen pics... these are good.

http://www.thepornboat.com/tiffany%20teen/07.jpg

http://www.thepornboat.com/tiffany%20teen/10.jpg

http://www.thepornboat.com/tiffany%20teen/11.jpg

http://www.thepornboat.com/tiffany%20teen/14.jpg

http://www.thepornboat.com/tiffany%20teen/15.jpg

http://www.thepornboat.com/tiffany%20teen/16.jpg


you may have to cut and paste...
More to come...

Movies, pictures and nudies oh my...

1.) I got this idea from one of my favorite sites
www.gorillamask.net. Her name is Abi Titmus. Here is a clip of her going lesbo on some black chic, its pretty sweet.

Abi's Lesbo Adventures...

2.) This is thee best "FREE" pic site I can think of..
www.wild-cherries.com Check it out.



Ok thats it for now... more later.

ANNOUNCEMENT.....

Starting monday, feb. 7th I will changing the format around. This site is going to turn intot the PREMIER spot for free online smut. I will post the hottest shit around. The quality of smut will be unrivaled. I promise that the daily pics will be the best and NEWEST around. I will also add a world news, wierd news and hot website of the day. So get ready to have your face rocked off as well as your COCK cause TUCKERMAXX.BLOGSPOT.COM is going to be insane.


Here is a tiny preview of whats to cum

Miss Raven Riley - in all her glory..

TIFFANY TEEN TAKING A DICK REAL DEEP IN HER PUSSY

TIFFANY TEEN GETTING FUCKED - CLICK HERE

The first time I gave head...

College is not only a time to party, puke, gain 30 pounds and ditch classes. NO, it is more than that. It is a time to experiment. It is a time to cut loose your inhibitions and let it all hang out. Or in my case take it all in. I was a sophomore and he was a senior. Now I know what you are all thinking. Tucker what the fuck are you talking about? There is no way Tucker Maxx would do the deep throat to a another guy? Well you are all wrong. I did and I was good. I had just got done taking my finals and really needed to get fucking drunk. So a few friends and I started out with some VO shots then on to the Natty Lite. I would say I was 15 drinks or so in when all of the sudden from across the room our eyes locked and everything stopped. My heart pounding, palms getting sweaty, knees shaking... It was surreal. He was the most amazing man I had ever seen, save myself. I walked over to him, asked him if he was alone, then with my tongue I licked the rim of my beer and winked at him.

Not even five minutes later we were in the men's room, I on my knees, He unzipped shoving his thick black dick down my throat. I almost puked but kept it down along with his enormous black shaft. I was in a zone, bobbing and sucking like I had been sucking dick since birth. I was the man. I stopped and popped my head up, looked him in the eye and said, "Cum for Tucker, cum all over my face." He replied half moaning half telling me, "No bitch Im cumming in your mother fucking mouth and your fucking take it all." I had no choice, I opened my throat and let him thrust all his man hood into my open loose throat. Then like water breaking through a dam it exploded in my mouth. One wave after another, my mouth was completely full I couldn't take one more drop of his love juice. I had to either swallow his whole load or spit, but his now limping dick was still filling my mouth. I pinched my nose, took a deep gulp and deposited his milky think load into the bowls of my tummy. It was awesome. I had officially become a niggers bitch. He picked me up off the ground wiped his dick off on my shirt, the pushed me out the door. It was over, and I never spoke to him again.

I have never sucked another dick since. I may change that tonight. Wish me luck.