5 Reasons I am cooler than you..

1.)I fuck a different fatty every weekend. I am the official president of the 1 ton club. If you need me to explain what this is, you aren't worthy of my time.

2.)When I was 18 I beat up a 13 year old girl for looking at me.

3.)I pick on retards and homeless people because they shouldn't even be allowed to breath the same air as me.

4.)I am talented and run this awesome website. Speaking of which if you a reading this, that means you are a.) either a big loser sitting alone on a Sunday in mom's basement OR b.) waiting for mommy to change your diaper and feed you dinner, cause you're a retard - refer to #3, I'm coming to kick your ass.

5.)I am Tucker Maxx - do I need anymore reasons? No I didn't think so.

And just to prove my awesomeness even more I'll add one more reason why I am infact cooler than you, while typing this, I staring down at some pig devouring my dick like its a chicken leg. I am king. Now if you'll excuse me I need to punish this whore's fupa.